I absolutely HATE novelty gifts or any type of ‘joke’ present. As a bloke, I’m all about experiential gifting and would far prefer a crash course in off roading my four by four or a new in car entertainment system. Hey, even a new set of car mats (I’m a Landrover and Mercedes aficionado) would keep me happy come Christmas! These days, guys seem to love music more than ever, so consider buying your man a batch of iTune downloads or even making him a CD of tunes you know he’ll love. Is he a keen karaoke singer? Then check Yellow Pages for your local music studio, book a few hours of their expertise and record your man belting out a couple of his favourite tracks. Maybe he likes magazines so why not indulge your guy with a subscription to one of his favourite lads mag’s such as FHM or Arena? Good present buying is all down to imagination. So ditch the socks and hankies… and buy him some ‘relevant’ stuff. Good luck!


My relationship is fizzling out and I’m keen to remain friends as my boyfriend was one of my best friends before we got together. I know I’d find it hard but I’m a girl. Will he find it easier being the guy?

Guys play their emotions closer to their chests than girls, but believe me, still waters run deep and your boy may hurt just as much as you do. Sure, men tend to hold back - and are more likely to quietly simmer over their emotions – but this can be massively destructive. So fellas - if you’re reading this too, feel free to show your emotions or even shed a tear; doing so is a sign of strength and NOT weakness. The old ‘I think we’d be better as friends’ get out clause is, I guess, an honest way to try and hold onto some of the good while letting go of the relationship. It works well if both parties are on the same wavelength and if both are open and honest. It can be devastating, however, if one party doesn’t see it coming. As ever, communication is the greatest problem solver...

Yup, it’s time to sit down and talk. DON’T let all the good times you’ve enjoyed be swept away by the pain of a slow, lingering relationship death. You owe it to each other to be honest about how you’re feeling. You say you were good friends before romance slipped into the picture and I hope you can get back to that stage before you fall out for good. As a girl you’re more likely to have the support network of your friends to help you through this. But as a guy (and I know this to be true speaking from a male perspective) he’s less likely to do the whole ‘in depth analyses’ with the boys. Sure, boys hurt just as much as girls, but they tend to internalise more… and that’s when the real pain starts. But, gender issues aside, I really hope you can help each other. I really hope you can work through this so you can get back to where you were before the kissing started…


My husband talks about a girl he works with a lot – should I be worried? I haven’t acted suspicious yet but he keeps on referring to her and things she said/did etc. Could it be a sign he’s cheating on me or am I being paranoid?

If a guy is cheating on a girl, the last thing he’s gonna to do is talk about her to his wife. Are you crazy? Think about it - if he’s so unhappy in his relationship that he’s going elsewhere, he’s not gonna rock the boat further by bringing up his dirty little secret at home. If things are good between you, then perhaps he just likes this girl as a friend. So go easy and DON’T make a mountain out of a molehill. Ask yourself this - do you want to sleep with all of your male friends? Hmm? Probably not. We all go though good and bad patches when we doubt ourselves and our partners. But, ultimately, trust is the glue of a good relationship… and if you lose this you’ll lose everything. Chill, baby! Just when did you get so cynical?

Today’s friendships are SO different and much more cross gender than in days gone by. In my world boys hang with boys AND girls, and girls hang with girls AND boys. It’s just today’s way. Men and women should be equal socially and professionally and, this in mind, I’m sure he’s probably talked about one of the lads at work from time to time too. And that doesn’t mean he wants to jump his bones. Oh blimey – that’s another agony uncle question all together! If he was up to something the last thing he’d do is bring his secret home. D’you know what? I really admire your chap for trusting himself enough to enjoy a cross gender friendship. And I admire his honesty for sharing his enthusiasm for her with you. Why not get to know her a little? Ask her over for dinner or perhaps share a drink after you all finish work? If she’s his type of woman (socially) chances are you’ll like her too. Lipstick on his collar is one thing, but a guy simply enjoying the friendship of a girl is another issue altogether.

My boyfriend is really shy around my friends but great when we’re on our own. They don’t believe he’s the guy I tell them he is! How can I get him to come out of his shell more?

Do I detect a hint of Paradise Syndrome? What’s that, I hear you ask? Well, put simply, it’s an affliction that some people get when life’s so good they’ve got nothing to worry about. If your bloke was the life and soul of the party (and all of your girlfriends adored him) might you be jealous as hell and end up accusing him of lavishing your friends with attention when he should be concentrating on you? Blimey - you find a quiet, reserved type (who has you as his focus) and it’s still not enough. I think guys sometimes do get the raw deal as women are much more adept at speaking up and saying what’s on their mind. I reckon your guy adores you and that’s enough for him. Perhaps he simply doesn’t like crowds and doesn’t want to perform like a puppy. There’s nothing worse than a project seeking female, looking for her latest case study to mould him into her own idea of perfection. I say love your man, love his ‘faults’…

I know so many girls who moan about the opposite of your ‘complaint’! What’s your beef? Your quiet, introverted man, as far as others may be concerned, is YOUR quiet introverted man. Some girls I know actually get jealous if their guy is the apple of everyone else’s eye. Enjoy the fact that, in social terms anyway, he likes to hold back. Let him focus his attentions on you when you’re together and celebrate that he’s a little shy when others are about. It’s actually a rather endearing trait. I think (and I’m gonna be brutally honest here) that it's not him who has the problem, it’s your friends. Why should you have to persuade them he’s livelier when you’re alone? As friends, they should trust you to be with whomever you wish, and they should believe that whatever you say about him is actually the case. Don’t try and change him, let him be exactly who he is. After all, YOU chose him as your partner, not them.


My husband is the perfect man but when we get in the car together he’s a different person if I’m driving. He patronises me and moans at my bad driving, even though I’m good. Why do men think they are gods behind the wheel?

Some men simply can’t help but be a wee bit sexist behind the wheel of car - often they’ve been brought up to think that cars are for guys and girls are for draping over the bonnet at motor shows. In the great big scheme of things, is wheel domination really up there as something worth fighting about? I say not! If he’s such a great driver, then let him carry on, with you sitting tight and enjoying the services of your own personal chauffeur. Especially on weekend nights out, when you can enjoy a few bubbles and he can stay ‘dry’! Pretty soon, if you let him do without his nights out, he’ll be begging you to drive in no time....

Colin is Mr Confident behind the wheel and always offering tips and advice to make sure we both get the best from every journey, and I SO don’t have a problem with this. I’m sure you’re as good a driver as you say, but, just to be sure, ask him what it is about your manoeuvring that drives him round the bend. Tackle this head on (to avoid subsequent head on collisions!) by discussing your driving at every opportunity when you’re out and about. What, exactly, doesn’t he like about it? Are there any aspects he actually feels confident with? Did you do something in the past that makes him feel uneasy? As usual, communication problem solves many issues. It’s all very well for him to moan, but if he doesn’t have grounds then it’s time for him to press the brakes (metaphorically speaking, you understand) on the nagging. Take him for a dedicated ‘test’ drive and show him what you can do. Build his confidence in you, and the machismo should eventually subside!


My boyfriend still lives like a student eating chips and pot noodles and rarely shaving! How can I make him see it’s time to grow up?


Colin: Grow up? Sounds like you might throw up! Chips, pot noodles and lack of hygiene don’t exactly add up to a woman’s dream date do they? But hey, you chose him! Is there a huge age difference you’re not telling us about or have you just matured more than he has? The truth is that there are some guys who simply never lose the lazy student phase, so maybe its time for the old ‘shape up or ship out’ routine! If he’s one of life’s eternal students and that’s not the type of guy you’re looking for, then its probably best to look elsewhere. Think of it this way – he’s an Austin Metro kinda dude, and you’re after a Mazda MX5. No matter how much tweaking you do, one car ain’t ever gonna be the other, so maybe it’s best not to try and change him. Time to look for a new model and drive off into a tidier future?

Oh, I LOVE a project. Just ‘cos he’s a little grungy, it doesn’t mean he’s a dead loss. Just look at Johnny Depp! Okay, so I’m sure the Deppster isn’t that big on Pot Noodles but he looks SO cool in ripped jeans, T shirts, stubbly growth and a flat cap. To help on the dietary side, give him a cook book as a pressie and tell him you wanna be spoiled a little! You’ll enjoy the treat and he’ll ‘learn’ while he’s at it. In fact as soon as he’s mastered Jamie O salmon with leak gratin he’ll be a new man! As far as his self maintenance goes, try this; pour a long hot bubble bath, dip in together… then bring out a Bic! Just think of the fun you’ll have as you ‘polish’ your fella into a smarter future. If he likes a stubbly growth, then trim it neatly rather than shave it off completely – after all he’s his man, as well as yours, so cut him some slack and love his faults. Until, that is, you’ve eradicated them altogether! Yup, girls can be SO persuasive… and your boy (with the right treatment) will soon be putty in your hands!